Friday, April 28, 2006

List Friday 10 jobs

List Friday 10 jobs I'd like to try:

Acupuncturist? Anyone want to let me poke needles in them?

I’ve been thinking about what kind of job I would like for some time and I’ve come to realize that I have some very specific requirements:
No.1 Low job stress, this is essential as I think it might be an understatement to say that I don’t handle stress very well. …maybe I should have said no stress.
No.2 I must be able to sleep in. Actually on reconsideration … my bed is my favorite place. It’s cozy. I feel cozy and happy there and if I am not feeling happy, its one of the best places to be. In the past, I’ve done my homework, written , painted paintings, sculpted and of course, read books, watched movies, and listened to music (O.K. so no one is likely to give me a job listening to music) but I even babysat three children from my bed. We all sat on my bed, I gave each child a pillow, a blanket and a bowl of popcorn. (Feeding three small children popcorn while they were sitting on my bed was not the smartest thing I ever did.) Then we watched movies together, well they watched movies I dozed a bit. Fortunately, it is imposable to sleep soundly with three wiggling children on my bed. It was an emergency---, I had insomnia the night before and their mother was very sick but anyway, No.2 is, I don’t want to get out of bed when I work. This leads us to No.3 I want to dress comfortably for work. An old nightshirt and bathrobe should do it. I am a little concerned about these about these requirements, not that I don’t think they are realistic, I am sure they are, its just that the VESTID job counselor said I wasn’t employable when I didn’t have any job requirements--- but I think these job requirements will work in my favor. Job requirement No. 2 well help me not be tired as will job requirement No.3 which will keep me from using all my time and energy dressed and making myself to tired to work. That said here’s my list: *

Orchid photographer
I want to photograph orchids in the wild I suppose I could wear my PJs but I would have to get out of bed to this. Could be some stress --- snakes, wild animals, but except for alligators’ I think wild animals and snakes would be less scary than riding the subway.

Accessories designer
Shoes, scarves, jewelry etc.

Poet
This would look so-o-o impressive on my resume.

Novelist
A whole book is so intimidating…but at a page a day, for 290 days, I could get it done in a year and still have 75 day to mess up --- if only I could think of a plot.

Comedian
My son tells me that I have no sense of humor but why should I let a little detail like that stop me?

Healing Arts Instructor
I really like this one but as I see it will probably involve getting out of bed and getting dressed…

Sculptor
E-mail me if you want to hire me to do your portrait or if you want to let me practice acupuncture on you.

Street performer
I could probably get away with wearing my PJs but I don’t want to sleep on the street.

Women’s issues consultant

Food writer
I could write in bed and have food delivered.

Snake breeder
I am not sure if I am O.K. with having snakes in my bedroom or not .Thinking about it makes me feel a little twitchy.

Pomegranates and PaperWrites that she would like a job Training dolphins I thought that sounds so much more fun than anything I choose. Why didn't I chose it? Then I thought Tiger trainer but no, that’s not right – Pumas -- the last job on my list is:
puma trainer.



* a word to my disability investigator and job counselor: literary license. O.K. two words.

4 comments:

Loretta said...

Hmm - in bed jobs I could think of:
-book reviewer
-television reviewer
-writer/poet/playwright
-music reviewer
-mattress tester (assuming they are delivered)
-goldfish pet sitter
-Yoko Ono

I love your requirements. They could be mine!

harmonyinline said...

Oh,I love these suggestions!
"Book reviewer" have I died and gone to heaven?
"Yoko Ono" now that’s too funny.
"Goldfish sitter" might be too stressful - they always die.

Cate said...

I would like to be a food writer, too--all of my favorite things combined into a career! Heaven!

P.S. I disagree with your son. You have a wicked sense of humor :)!

Parapluie said...

Foster care for fail to thrive drug babies - just an idea for an essential, meaningful job that could be caried out n bed. That is if you are an angel.