Saturday, December 31, 2005


It’s snowing today. Its four o’clock and I am still in my bathrobe, I have no plans to get dressed. All I want is a warm cup of tea, a pencil, and paper and to sit where the heater can warm me.

My Dad and my Son are out walking in the snow together. My Son wanted me to walk with them but I didn’t feel up to facing the cold. For exercise I leaned out the window and took a picture of the snow; I think that is enough cold for today.

My friend Carol Anne just called her mother Rosalind died last week. Carol Anne and her family have been my friends forever, friends of my parents and grandfather before that.
I met Carol Ann and her parents during a flood. Because of heavy logging in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s the Eel River in Northern California would overflow its banks during heavy rains. I was born during a rainstorm and the night I came home from the hospital after I was born, our house was full of water. Jack (Carol Ann’s father) showed up just a few moments after my Grandfather, my mother and I arrived and packed all of our things into his car and took us up to his house, which was above the flood water line. We stayed their safe and warm while the water raged in the river below. After the floodwaters receded, they came over and cleaned the mud out of our home. While I was there Carol Ann, her family and I began our long friendship… Rosalind had a special gift of being an encourager and support to everyone in my family. Rosalind opened her home to us time after time. I always felt safe and welcome there. Even though I haven’t seen them for a long time every time they come to my mind, I have warm memories and they are part of my family.

Thursday, December 29, 2005


After, I wrote my post about violent entertainment, I asked Sam to read it. I don’t think he really understands my concerns about the amount of violence in his entertainment. But I was really pleased with him, he unhooked his Play Station without my asking him to. All of his Play Station games involve violence the one that isn’t about fighting and killing is about stealing cars. He told me that he’s board so I am going to find more things for him to do. It’s not easy to be a mom. I am always wondering if I did the right thing and knowing that I could have done better.


While my son and I were drawing together yesterday. I asked my son to draw a bird for me he choose to draw this Tufted Titmouse for me, they are regular visitors at our bird feeders.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Ranting About Violence

Last night I watched Kangaroo Jack with my sixteen-year-old son. I think the movie is a dumb and silly story but I was glad to have something I could watch with my son and spend time together with him. I am worried and appalled by the amount of violence in my son’s entertainment. It bothers me that people hurting people is something to laugh about. I want my son to grow up having compassion for people around him. I don’t want him to be indifferent to other people’s pain. His play station games, his books and movies are all violent. This much violent entertainment can’t possibly be healthy for him. I have to make some changes, I don’t know what to do when he’s with my ex but I know I have to find other entertainment for him while he is with me.

Monday, December 26, 2005


The bleakness of winter is rent
By your scarlet beauty
Standing there straight and tall
Red petals of velvet
You nourish the soul
And feed the artist

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I am a tree

I am a tree
the snow has chilled me.
Cold has killed all my leaves.
Spring opens her arms,
the ground is warm again.
The sun warms and comforts me.
Buds grow on my branches
the earth embraces me
warmth fills my heart.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


A child disappearing during divorces is a common thing. A few years ago during a divorce my brother’s ex-wife and son disappeared. Every divorce is painful. I found mine so. For a period of time during mine I didn’t know where my son was. I felt frantic. I found some measure of help in doing a series of mother and child paintings. They were inspired by a text in Jeremiah about Rachel weeping for her children. The first one is of her weeping. This one is in oil on clay-board. This is the last one I painted, and it was done after I’d heard from my son. When I saw my son again he had changed so much that I didn’t recognize him. He was no longer a little boy. He had grown into a young man.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

peaceful day

It’s been a peaceful quiet day today the morning was full of sunshine and warm weather it reached forty degrees today. I enjoyed sitting in my chair soaking up the warmth. It’s a welcome change after the ice storm earlier this week.

As I type Carole is laughing as she reads actually she’s starting to double up and turn blue. When she able breath she read me a story that has been circulating on the internet I had a glass of coke in my hand when she started reading, She warned me that I wouldn’t want to drink while she read, I needed the warning. Don’t read this story while drinking…

This is supposedly a true story... [or maybe an urban legend].

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get outof the car!"The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station.. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

Carole says, If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it a memorable one!

Friday, December 16, 2005


"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."
— Scott Adams

Steam is rising off the roof. Last night we had an ice storm the power was off when I awoke this morning we get our water from a well so no power means the pump doesn’t work, no water having no electric power is inconvenient but I worry about no water the toilets don’t work. All the inconvenience of camping and none of the fun…
I am enjoying the luxury of electric power and water again as I drink my cup of tea. Normally I prefer coffee. Last week I decided to try to be a little healthier I’d try drinking green tea since its good for me. I bought a box of Tazo Om I like that om doesn’t it sound good? The box says organic green teas and a hint of black teas I’d like it better if it was more than a hint actually Id like it better if it was black tea but for green tea its pretty good.
I’ve been writing my blog thinking no one is reading it the only people I’ve told about it are my mother and brother I know there are a lot of mistakes in it but I just figured Ill fix them later, sometime. Today my Mother told me she sent the link to thirty people including a reading English teacher. You’re not surprised that I suddenly feel motivated to clean up some of the mistakes are you?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

A blah day

Its warmer today than yesterday but still weather for staying indoors. The day just slipped by me without my getting anything done. Its cold and dark outdoors my mother formally known as Carole is typing at her computer. My back is aching I feel like I should paint, or something but I am feeling very inert.
My parents were evacuated from Wal- mart today. You can read about that on her blog

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Last night I started reading Creative Healing by Samuels and Lane. The book has inspired me. I feel excited about it. Art makes healing energy. Making art to heal the mind, body and spirit. Lots of healing things have been coming into my life recently. Last month Amber Rose gave me an acupuncture treatment during a student's grand round at the Swedish Institute. I was amazed at the difference it made! I the stress and pain just floated away. Last week I purchased "Volume 1 Healing Music Project" by the Relaxation Company. The music embraces my soul.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


After getting up this morning I was invited to go out and take some pictures. Good light and a reasonable hour I put on my coat and gloves grabbed my camera. We drove a short way to the Rio Dam. Getting out of the car was a cold shock, seven degrees and windy. I jumped, stomped and jogged in place hoping for warmth. My toes felt like ice. My enthusiasm for photography was fast disappearing as I contemplated the wisdom of bears in hibernation.

mother and child

A painting I did a couple years ago. One of several mother and child pieces I did. Most of them painted during a time when I did not know where my son was.

Monday, December 12, 2005

unseen sunrise

This morning I was invited to get my camera and come take pictures of the sunrise.
"It's spectacular this morning"she said. Sunrises were not part of my morning this morning. I was to groggy to even reply. When I got up sevral hours later she showed me her wonderful sunrise pictures. My love of sleep is greater than my passion for photography

Saturday, December 10, 2005

snow baby

Posted by Picasa
17 degrees sun and snow. I walked outside today then I walked right back in its to cold out there for me today.
A keyboard Shortcut given me by Swat The Virus today to refresh control+F5.

Friday, December 09, 2005

15th street

Melting snow floods streets in Manhattan. Working to unclog the drains at 15Th street.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

there is no harmony in my mind today

Last night a man was shot on the sidewalk in front of the house where I live. The street was filled with police officers, police cars and the St Vincents ambulance with its lights flashing in the dark. I know very little about what happened. All I have found out is that shots were fired and the man who was shot fired back. When police and Ambulance arrived he refused help. When last seen he was staggeringly attempting to walk.We were unsettled and unable to sleep. I knitted and listened to music until two a.m. when I decided I should go to bed. Two or three hours later I could hear my brother moving around downstairs also unable to sleep.
This morning I am urged out of bed by my neice "come see the snow." Looking out my window I see that during the early hours everything has been covered with white snow. Allthough there is no trace left of last night's violence, I know that the man who was shot is in pain.I feel disconnected today, things don't make sense.