Friday, March 31, 2006

Orchid



This is a photo of an orchid I bought this afternoon. After my doctor appointment, I stopped by the newly opened Trader Joes on 14th street, to buy some of their organic hotdogs and soymilk. The store window is full of orchids and they were all calling to me, " take me home with you, you know you love us, we are not expensive, very reasonable, you know you want to take us home with you, yes you do. Look deep into my petals you are getting sleepy…."so there I was in the checkout line with my hotdogs and these orchids. The clerk double bagged them for me to make them easier to carry. That when I had my brilliant ideal instead of taking the 4 or the 5 train to Bowling Green and walking with my orchid to the ferry terminal I would take the L train to 6th and 12th and take the 1 train because it goes right into the ferry terminal. Like many good plans this one didn’t go as hoped. Every thing appeared to be moving along as planned until the Chambers Street stop, where we waited and waited then they announced that we were waiting for the dispatcher and we would leave shortly after more waiting we were told to get off the train another train would be along shortly finally after still more waiting we are told no train. So I get out my map. Me with my soymilk and hotdogs, backpack carrying my orchid pot of course I am tired and thirsty so I stop and buy some ice cream, of course I can’t eat it because my hands are full so now I am carrying melting dripping ice cream finally I had the sense to sit down on the curb and eat my ice cream. Normally the walk from Chambers St to the ferry isn’t bad if I don’t get lost but today I was tired and for some reason it took me almost an hour. All the time I am knowing that if I had taken the 5 train….

The moral of this story is don’t let yourself be hypnotized by an orchid.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

word path

to hope
one life
to wander
to wonder
what will be
a journey
an enemys kisses
the enemy smiles
darkness
all is lost
only hope
survives
is hope vain?
a journey
full of fear
dispair
beauty walks in
light he gives
hope regained
love soars
agitated depths
troubled soul
healing spirit
banishes fear
love creates
anxiety eats
trouble creates
healing hands
beauty creates
harmony restored
I am wrapped in
serenity
love fills

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Blue Scream

Blue is the subject this week at http://www.mamasaysom.com/
This painting is about my son . When he was small he was twice attacked by neighbors dogs. A large red chow bit him repeatedly. He had bites in his head. The neighbor a huge man considerably over two hunderd pounds had to wreasle the dog off of my son. Afterwards I hated it when he would pet dogs. Sam still loves dogs. I painted this picture several years later. When my ex decided to divorce me he hid my son from me this painting was done during the time my son was gone. I painted my fear and memories of the dog bite because I was unable to cope with his being missing.

Mad At God


A few months ago Amber Rose, a healer and an instructor at the Swedish Institute, asked me if I was mad at God. I told her that I wasn’t. Afterwards her question stuck in my head and I realized that I was lying to myself. I know that things are my fault and not God's; nonetheless it didn’t matter, I was still angry with God and had been for a couple of years.

Spiritually I was standing in the middle of an unending empty desert, even as an atheist I hadn’t felt spiritually empty like this. I knew I was being unreasonable but still I was angry with God and I was unable to let go of my anger. After years of wondering if there is there a God I really knew there is a God but my prayers felt empty even when I could see God answering them because between me and God was all my anger.

Finally a few nights ago I told God “God you know I am mad at you. I’ve tried and tried to stop being mad at you, I can’t please take it away.” The hollow feeling in my chest left and with it my anger. I feel unsure about God, kind of nervous still, but it feels good not to be mad at God anymore.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Sound


This evening, I went to a sound healing group at St. Vincent's on 7th and 12th Street. The sound healer Ruth Cunningham played a medieval harp and the flute. Before going there I was not feeling good. While listening the toning was energizing, getting rid of my achy grogginess while at the same time relaxing me. I love the fact that even though I am totally unmusical I can participate in the group. My favorite part is at the end when Ruth plays her own improvisations. Afterwards I felt an incredible sense of serenity. I love going to these sound healing groups. Each time I each time I go I feel like it is more enjoyable.

Have you ever been to a sound healer? How was it?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Madison Quote


"If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land,
it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy." ~~J. Madison

Friday, March 24, 2006

Fridays List

I need:
More time with my son
My lost password
More music in my life
A lot more harmony
Walks on the beach
I need to spend more time with friends
A lot more serenity
Creativity
A new pair of glasses
A copy of "Yearning"
Healing
To get my hair done
A new scarf
Balance
And a new lipstick


I need to get rid of :
The blues
Old books I don’t want
Piles of old papers
My backache
20 pounds
Fear
Meanness
Clothing I don’t wear
Debts
Depression
Chaos


Thanks to Pomegrantesandpaper for this idea

Foundation

Often life leaves me
feeling lost and floundering.
The world shifts beneath my feet.

A lover's love ends.
Towers topple
leaving only ruins.
A spouse is our spouse
until they divorce us,

but a brother
is a brother forever.

When the foundation is broken
and my life is in shambles.

My family is always there.


This weeks theme at http://www.mamasaysom.com/ is Foundation.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

In Beauty

As I walk, as I walk
The universe is walking with me
In beauty it walks before me
In beauty it walks behind me
In beauty it walks below me
In beauty it walks above me
Beauty is on every side
As I walk, Iwalk with beauty
Dineh Prayer

Monday, March 20, 2006

Lavender


Acrilyc on canvas

Found this stashed in the back of my closet the other day. This is a piece I did when I was taking a class at the Art Students League a while back.

Friday, March 17, 2006

List Friday

It's List Friday at Pomegrantesandpaper
Heres my list

Spiring is in My Soul

pink
lemon yellow
turquoise
serene blue skies
cherry blossoms
robins singing
warm sunbeams
long walks in the park
splashing in rain puddles
rainbows
chocolate bunnies
red and white tulips
stargazer lilies
laying on the green grass stairing at big fluffy clouds
spring break

Leave Me Winter
mittens and gloves
snow flurries
dangling icicles long johns
below freezing
snow storms
icy sidewalks
frigid winds piercing my heavy wool coat
gray
white
brown
smoke from chimneys
gas heat
dark days
red sweaters

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Do You Like to Write?

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.
And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery...
Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.
You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.
What type of writer should you be?
Try the link above and let me know,
what kind of writer you are or you should be.
What kind of writer do you wish you were?

Mushrooms


5 by 7 on 140lbs Fabriano watercolor paper


I grew up eating this it's my mothers recipe. It's been a long time since Ive made it but painting the mushrooms reminded me of it and of sauted mushrooms and garlic.

Quick and Easy
Angel-hair Pasta with Mushroom Sauce

Pasta:
Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to boil over high heat... When the water reaches a full rolling boil put in:
8 ounces of angel hair pasta
Cook until just tender. (Follow the instructions on the package)
Drain the pasta and add to the sauce - mix well

Sauce:
Meanwhile prepare the sauce:
½ cup of onion, chopped fine
2 cloves of garlic, minced
½ cup celery, finely chopped
1-teaspoon olive oil
sauté the above ingredients, until they begin to soften in a heavy bottomed or cast iron fry pan

In a large bowl
1 can mushroom soup
1 can chopped olives
1 ½ teaspoon soy sauce
add the onion/celery mixture and the drained pasta, stir to blend

Garnish with
mushroom slices
fresh grated Parmesan or Romano cheese (optional)
Serve

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Artist way

It’s a warm beautiful day today and I have had the flu. If that wasn't bad enough my hip started acting up again Thursday. I want to go out and play. Instead I am taking muscle relaxers and Advil, staying in bed with my heating pad, drinking tea and eating chicken soup with cayenne, and sleeping. How anyone can sleep this much I don't know.

Didn’t do very well with my artist way assignments this week, I did my pages most days but that’s it .I didn’t finish reading the chapter or do the assignments. Got up a while ago and read some of your blogs. They are inspiring but now I am going back to bed.

Friday, March 10, 2006

What Color Green Are You

You Are Grass Green

Down to earth and a bit of a hippie, you are very into nature and the outdoors.
You accept the world and people as they are. You don't try to change things.
You are also very comfortable with yourself, flaws and all.
Optimistic about the future, you feel like life is always getting better.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Women's Room ?

While I was at my psychiatrist's office I stopped by the women's room on my way out. As I was sitting in the stall, someone walked into the stall next to me. With shock I notice the shoes… men’s shoes.

First I try to tell myself they could be women’s shoes but no, they are definitely men’s shoes. I am horrified; I can’t believe that I've gone into the men’s room again twice in two months. I decide that I will hide in the stall, wait for him to leave and sneak out. Maybe no one will see me leaving the men’s room. So I sit there chewing myself out for being so spacey. Thinking what’s wrong with me? I am too young for Alzheimer’s.

I hear the water running. I am listening for the sound of the door. Then I hear the door open and click click. Isn't that the sound of a woman’s shoes? I ask myself. A woman’s voice says" this is the women’s room." Then I notice the stall door is painted rose beige.

Writing

I just finished writing a post. Instead of posting it I asked myself why did I write this? Nobody wants to read it. Then I gave the mouse a little push and clicked on save as a draft.

I have done this repeatedly. I want to write things down but I am unsure about anyone reading what I write. Then I opened Julia Cameron's book the Right to Write and read these words "in order to be a good writer, I have to be willing to be a bad writer. I have to be willing to let my thoughts and images be as contradictory as the evening firing its fireworks outside my window. In other words, let it all in- every little detail that catches your fancy..."

I know this is true when I paint; I know it is essential to give myself permission to paint a bad painting. There is no faster way to ruin a painting than to decide it has to be great or, God forbid, perfect. I've learned not to listen to myself when I start telling myself that what I am painting is terrible or fantastic. Experience has taught me that I have no perspective on the quality of a piece while I am working on it. For some reason it doesn't bother me to paint a lousy painting. Sometimes I remember this when I blog but other times I forget and then I don't want to post.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Tomato Speaks


The tomato is sitting on the kitchen counter screaming.
Why is the tomato screaming?
Maybe he just isn’t getting along with his siblings
sitting there with him:
Is he having trouble with the bush?
Perhaps he heard about what Bush has done to his health care.
Maybe he’s upset about plans for the environment,
bad growing conditions,
air quality,
environmental pollution,
and crowded housing conditions.

That’s a lot for a tomato to have to deal with.
I can see how it might get him down.
Is he just bored and wanting to go outside?
Is he feeling stress and pressure
From all of life’s problems?

Can you hear him?
He is still screaming….

I think he feels out of place because
after all he’s a hothouse tomato you know.

Watercolor on Arches 140Lb rough watercolor paper

Friday, March 03, 2006

Artist Way Task

Earlier this week I read the task Color Schemes: “Pick a color and write a quick few sentences describing yourself.” I thought of celadon, a warm color both blue and green, yet nether blue or green, a color of light magic and serenity. But today as I work on the tasks, I feel like a rainbow gone bad, all the colors got mixed together in a muddy mess. I feel muffled and dingy; my brain and emotions feel foggy. Even though it’s the middle of the day I took a bath and washed my hair to try and wash that muddy feeling away. I think it helped a little. Writing this is also some help; I think writing cleans out the brain.

What I really need is some music… (I just put a CD "The Poet" on by Michael Hoppe, maybe thats what I need)

On to the next task: “List five things you are not allowed to do.” I’ve reached the place where the only one who allows me to do things or not to is myself. What is it that I don’t allow myself to do? I wonder how I am going to answer this question....

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Green Onions


Watercolor 9"by 12" on 140Lb Arches Rough waterclor paper

I didn’t know what to paint, but then I remembered these in the back of the refrigerator.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Garlic


Watercolor 5 by 7 on 140lbs Fabriano cold pressed watercolor paper

My sister-in-law told me that chewing raw garlic is good for colds. It certainly cleared out my sinuses, but I think it tastes better sautéed with green beans.